What am I going to do tonight? I supposed to be on my friend’s engagement night but all of my friends forgot to pick me up (WTF!!). I don’t mind about it because it is just an engagement but I’ve missed several of my friends’ weddings because they forgot about me and never even called me. Well what can I say, I get used to it but bored is my main problem. What am I going to do right now?
Then I called this girl that I admire but she rejected me so many times (what a loser I am) and she said that she’s watching some concert that I don’t care about with her friends and her ex-boyfriend. What? Her ex-boyfriend? I still remember that everytime her ex-boyfriend kept on calling like he can’t even accept their break up, she always called me and I’m like a psychiatrist who listens to her problems and all that stuff. At the end of it, she told me that I’m too nice for her and her feelings for me is not there yet. Well what do you want me to be? A shrink? A S.O.B. who just being used when you’re needed to (like I always being used to) ?
This is when hard rock songs or bone crunching death metal songs or emo songs or something like that ease up my ear. Damn I hate being myself and I hate being me. I hate my life and everything around me. It’s not that I’m not being grateful for being alive and able to blog right now but it’s just makes me sick. I just hate my life. Seriously.
P/S: I’m downloading the new movie Surf’s Up and can’t wait for it to finish hehe
There was a storm on th evening here in Shah Alam and I’ve heard a lot of tress were scattered everywhere and even fell down on cars. Then after that my house went to a blackout and it took 3 hours for the technician to repair it. It is because the tree fell down on the electric poll and damaged the cable. That’s why suddenly all blacked out hehe. At that time I felt so bored and nothing to do. Well I went down stairs and get 2 sticks of candles and light it on one of it and I started cleaning my room. That is so weird but at least I manage to clean my room heheh. After all the hardwork, I felt so bored again so I went out with my motorcycle to go to the mamak stall and what a relief it was. Seeing a light and watching some soap Malay drama on TV with a cup of tea. I feel I can’t get away from the internet. I’m an addict though. Arggggggghhhhhhhhhhhh. Internet is my life.
Now it’s raining season back again and Kuala Lumpur have got the worst flooded in history. Luckily here in Shah Alam haven’t had a flood again but you never know what’s going to happen in the future. Actually I’m getting tired of this flood thing because it’s not always mother nature but also our faults. Human faults. I’m getting tired of excuses by the responsible person who said that people should not throw garbage into the river or the drain. Well if people stopped doing that what about all those constructions? Too many development that jeopardize the environment that would bring disasters for instance flood. This shows that these greed people are abusing their own power in order to make this to happens. Now they blame the citizen for the cause of it? Come on. I’ve been living here since I was born and I know my own city. I don’t know where this will be end where corruption and politics come to play their part. I’m really tired of it
Anyway, these cold rain really makes me hungry hehe. I cook a burger with some fried egg, onion, cucumber, and put some mayonnaise in it. Yummy hehehe. Plus a hot nescafe to fill my thirst. What else can I make a perfect meal on a rainy days? Hmm better get some recipes for it and I want to try some other day.
One of my friend sent me this video on YouTube which is very motivational and really touch my heart. Below is what’s the motivational words on the video:
Today is the beginning of my new life
I am starting over today
All good things are coming to me today
I am grateful to be alive
I see beauty all around me
I live with passion and purpose
I take time to laugh and play everyday
I am awake, energized and alive
I focus on all the good things in life
And give thanks for them
I am at peace and one with everything
I feel the love, the joy, the abundance
I am free to be myself
I am magnificence in human form
I am the perfection of life
I am grateful to be… ME
Today is the best day of my life
Well a lot of people seems kind of weird when they hear I’m a full time blogger. It’s that I don’t want to have my own career but I’m tired of working under people’s noses. I want to be my own boss. No more get yelled at, no more get scolded at, no more have to face pain-in-the-ass kind of boss, no more of all those things. I’m really tired. And now I’m doing my blog as this is my passion and I really work hard for it. I rarely sleep early at night and of course woke up late. But this is one of my sacrifice that I’ve made and also of my hard work that I put on my blogging activities.
I’ve seen a lot of bloggers have made a lot of money and support their life with it. Why couldn’t I do it? Is it wrong? Is it illegal here in Malaysia? WTF? This shows that Malaysians only think that blogging is just for personal but that is past. Nowadays blogging have gone to the next level and this is great as we should not stick to personal topics only.
Have you ever at one time that you remember those memories about your ex-girlfriend or ex-boyfriend? And then you look up at his/her Friendster page or Myspace account that you know of. It is like looking back at memory lane but it is all boiled down to frustration when looking at her/him with someone else. These what I call memory extensions of it. We do have moved on with our life but somehow and I repeat somehow that one moment that memory came back. It hurts but I’ve been through a lot more worse than that. That made me matured and be tough in certain situation especially in a relationship. Not to say that I’m an expert but I’ve been dumped and hurt too many times. And I’m sick of it. Truly I am. No matter what you do you still feel sick of it and this lead to numb. You can’t feel anymore.
What is happiness?
What is joy?
What is love?
What is passion?
What is trust?
What the fuck?
These kind of question that I try to answer. Maybe someday I’ll meet the one. But the problem is, I don’t think I’ll find the one for me. And also I think all of my ex’s laughed at me because I’m a loser. I really do. Look at me, trying to survive earning with my blog. Damn I really do hate myself.
Today is a Mother’s Day. See this cute Google logo. Happy Mother’s Day to all of you . Mother is a percious person in our life. Without them, who else going to guide us to keep on love in this wonderful and unpredictable world. I’ve no doubt that I admire all woman that called mother. They have this instinct that I can’t imagine how they can be the most patient and hardworking person in the whole world. Thanks to all Mother, you are amazing.
Sometimes life can be cruel to us. Sometimes life can be so wonderful and nice like a happy ending. But what I see in life is how a person can build up his character through hardship of life. Poverty, depression, war or dysfunctional family are among the cause of hardship or maybe more. Well do I face hardship of life? You bet I did. Quit my studies in public university because I can’t take it anymore, quit my studies because of financial burden, can’t get a job, financial problems (as usual), family problems, when I do get a job my boss was such a pain-in-the-ass, and many more. This also lead to my depression and sorrow. I do have to face it no matter what. But I do feel grateful that I still have family and friends. I do feel grateful that I still alive and breath well. Anyway, that’s what I look at life. Hardship will make or break someone in building his or her character as a person.
. Mother is a percious person in our life. Without them, who else going to guide us to keep on love in this wonderful and unpredictable world. I’ve no doubt that I admire all woman that called mother. They have this instinct that I can’t imagine how they can be the most patient and hardworking person in the whole world. Thanks to all Mother, you are amazing. 
Sometimes life can be cruel to us. Sometimes life can be so wonderful and nice like a happy ending. But what I see in life is how a person can build up his character through hardship of life. Poverty, depression, war or dysfunctional family are among the cause of hardship or maybe more. Well do I face hardship of life? You bet I did. Quit my studies in public university because I can’t take it anymore, quit my studies because of financial burden, can’t get a job, financial problems (as usual), family problems, when I do get a job my boss was such a pain-in-the-ass, and many more. This also lead to my depression and sorrow. I do have to face it no matter what. But I do feel grateful that I still have family and friends. I do feel grateful that I still alive and breath well. Anyway, that’s what I look at life. Hardship will make or break someone in building his or her character as a person.